Jumping off the Deep End

Today Jonathan and I jumped off the deep end at church.
We have been a part of a wonderful Small Group at church for years and we have loved it. For the past few months we have been in a church funk, me especially. I have, in fact, not cared to go to church, class, or even small group and that's not like me. I really just wanted to leave our church altoghter, and you might ask why and really couldn't tell you many specific reasons. I just felt unhappy. After some prayer and lots of discussion between Jonathan and me we decided maybe we needed to get into a Bible Study. You see, our Small Group committed to be in charge of Bible Hour, a class for small children so that their parents can enjoy Small Group time without the distraction of children. It's a great service our church provides. When we committed I felt sad, but everyone else went along with it, so we did too. I knew I was going to miss prayer requests, fellowship and study with friends. But the more we thought and talked about it the more we realized we really needed to have time studying the Word with other people like us.

You know when I type it out it sounds so logical but if you know me you know I am very concerned about what people think of me. I don't want anyone to think bad of me or Jonathan or talk about us because of our choice. And it is JUST visiting, we aren't going to make any sort of commitment yet. Jonathan is a good balance he doesn't care at all about what others think he just wants what is best for our family.

I think what I am most concerned about is losing the friends we have made the past few years and ones we've made very recently. Every time our Small Group has split we've lost good friends, not because of hard feelings but just because we drifted apart, and it has always made me sad. I hope that doesn't happen if we decide to go to another group. I hope we haven't made a bad choice. Mostly I hope God will point the way.